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I Want to Knit
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Challenge # 2-X-Treme Lace Knitting
*pant pant wheeze*

Ok, lemme catch my breath. That was a close one!

I don't know what happened...there we were, the Kid and I, cruising along our merry little way. We were following all the signs, narrowly avoiding pitfalls to both our confident knitter's esteem and our delicate lacy ego...when all of a sudden WHAM! There we were- stuck in a trap!

I really can't explain it...we had followed the clue exactly as written! Instead of arriving at the next pit stop, we were ambushed from behind...then everything went dark as I felt a black mask being slipped over my eyes. The next thing I knew, padded hands were pinning my wrists together behind my back, securing them with a long, animal print scarf. There must have been two of them, an evil genius and lowly henchman, perhaps, because one of them held me to the chair while the other bound me with a 75% wool/25% acrylic blend. The cads! Knowing that there was no way I could force the acrylic to break with my will alone!

I felt the Kid shudder but didn't know the full extent of the horrors until much, much later. I must have blacked out, because when I came to there were the signs of a struggle, and three sets of footprints leading away. Hmm...three? One must belong to whomever rescued us!

I scoured the internet all evening, trying to find any clue about those who held us captive, or our mysterious savior. Finally I came across some video footage of our ordeal. I did a screen capture to show you the worst of it.
It was worse than I'd thought! Not only was I being forced to knit while captive, tied to a chair and blindfolded, but look at the poor Kid! Threatened by a scissor-wielding tiger! One false move on my accidental tug on his fragile body...and it would be all over for the Kid. It was truly the stuff nightmares are made of!

Closer examination of our Amazing Lace clue revealed that it was not in fact a clue, but rather a very clever fake. Someone had gone to the trouble of duplicating a clue, down to the destinctive gold and maroon colors, all for the sake of leading the Kid and I into his nefarious plan. Who was this evil-doer? Who would go to such lengths as to put our lives in danger? I'm not sure, but if I know my evil villains, (and I know my evil villains), then something tells me that he must have stuck around to watch his plans unfold...much like the ruthless cads in those James Bond movies. Maybe if I freeze frame again, and watch that video footage frame-by-frame, I might catch him. Maybe...

posted by Jennifer Lori @ 10:30 p.m.  
  • At 11:32 a.m., Blogger K. said…

    Lol! You're too funny!

  • At 8:47 a.m., Blogger Sheri said…

    Awesome entry! I'm still chuckling!

  • At 11:51 p.m., Blogger knitabulous said…

    Hilarious! love it.

  • At 8:38 p.m., Anonymous Amanda Cathleen said…

    I found your blog by following a comment that you left on right sides together (her amazing lace team) I've been scouring the internet looking for anything that could help me with Charlotte's web, do you still have that excel spreadsheet? Charlotte is kicking my butt right now, badly, I need all the help I can get! *L*
    I love your x-tream lace knitting post! Hysterical! You have a very suspicious looking cat! *L*

  • At 10:29 a.m., Blogger KnitNana said…

    that's right, blame the cat!
    What a fun read that was - terrific!

  • At 3:44 p.m., Blogger Ashley said…

    The cat! (shakes fist) It's always the cat....

  • At 1:00 a.m., Blogger sloth-knits said…

    ..and they always get away with it too. Then again, they usually just shred the evidence.

  • At 4:05 p.m., Blogger Wool Girl said…

    Very cute!

  • At 9:14 p.m., Anonymous Rachel said…

    Using your own yarn to keep you captive. Too cruel!

    I hope you find a way to get back at your evil kidnapper. May I suggest that it involve a powerful squirt bottle?

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